|
|
||
|
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
In a state of decadence...
I have an unusually strong desire to taint my usually cheerful disposition in school. In fact, it seems highly tempting to paint an attitude of arrogance and indifference and amuse myself with the emotions that would be displayed on their faces. And yes, I am indeed extremely AGITATED. The slaps that I received from reality both today and yesterday, is pushing my ever thinning patience to break this trend of laughing it off as a joke. Much as I would love spark a few arguments right now, in a bid to calm my raging anger, this urge is currently suppressed by the sane mind of mine. Perhaps I pride myself excessively in being indifferent to these remarks, but I would be lying if I said that I was not put off by those remarks. The scorn spit in my face by two separate persons with the distinct air of arrogance and snobbishness has thrown me into the endless race of "proving" once again. Why does it seems like I'm the only one enduring these "treatments"? During today's paper when my brain cells failed me once more, the inevitable taunting voice was all I could hear. I have already relinquish all the stakes in my pockets, but I haven't paid enough to buy myself the self-confidence that I have bet away. And for my classmates reading this, I would prefer to be called by my name, instead of the condescending and gross nickname I'm currently called by. It seems to me a superficial and blatant form of teasing which do have limits too. It would only be considerate if everyone is tactful in their words. The pent up emotions finally came down as tears. It's been a long time since I cried. -------------- Talks of scholarship around me are increasing in quantity. With higher expectations of education nowadays, I'm almost certain I will fail to meet these expectations. --------------
9:06 PM
|
||