... Sometimes I doubt and question....


Especially when you had a difficult day with your driving instructor and you feel as if he's screwing your driving on intention.

Yay, I finally met Hui Li after such a long time. It's been months since we saw each other I guess? Maybe I should try the emotional blackmail by making her feel guilty more. =p

We caught up, in lots of things. We chatted and laugh. =) And just like that, it seemed like the months we didn't meet didn't exist at all. ^^ Hahax, Hui Li is such a good listener as usual and she talked more about her stuff today eh? =p

It ended off in a bad note though, when we started talking about our class and our classmates. Those days... I would never want to relieve the experience again. I can't seem to forgive, much less forget. But I don't want to forget, not a single memory of it. All the mean people, mean experiences... I never want to forget the lessons I learnt from these experience. Painful ones. Overall, it made me a stronger person and make me realise how lucky I am right now.

Super, duper, uber lucky.

Hahax. I have friends right now, friends who really care. =) They are those whom I hold no qualms about whining and ranting about my days, my anger, my sadness my uneasiness and most of all, my happiness. My listening ears. And I'm all ears for them too. Yi Yan, Rachel, Jansen, Andrew and Yuan Ing. Things are different now. And I started off with a good first impression this time. =) Hahax.. Btw, operation force "qitong" to sleep made me feel really loved. =D

So what has been going on in my life right now? Admist the catching up on studies, we have our fun life too.

From the albums of school daries...

Labels: University School Daries

University has made me a frequent visitor to a networking site I used to loathe. That I thought were frequented by teens with too much free time on their hand. NOT. More like the procrastination bug attacking them. And now, I realised the fun in facebooking. Basically, it's place to scream out your daily life for the world to see, like what I'm doing now. A net collection of funny and amazing great youtube videos. And basically, games (not that I play and want to start getting hooked onto).

All this time eaters swallow our time up as the kapo-side (tell me a better word!) of us access facebook to see our friend's update on their life. Then again, I guess you could tell how much of a "life" I'm having right now. A really boring and monotonous life, studying. Ironically, I enjoy the company of friends while studying and I fear that I may be too reliant on friends sometimes. At the end of the day, the exam is ours to take alone. With about only a month left, I fear I may never find enough time to study. I should seriously do some focused mugging. I've tried, from trying to stay up late to studying in school. All of which turned out to be futile attempt at Trying to study. Sigh...

Work is insane. I am going out of my sanity region.... Let's start debugging the error that's wrong.

Yesterday, out of a whim, Tan Li, Jansen and I decided to walk to Clementi Mrt from NUS. Surprisingly, it wasn't that far away. Hahax.. Maybe because we were talking and laughing(mainly laughing at me =x) while walking. Hahax.. It was really random, but randomness is good from time to time. =) Since I was feeling a little rich, having collected $200 overall from what friends owed me from BBQ and presents, I knew that once I bank in the money, it will be locked into the vault while I can help it. =p Out of my caprice again, Jansen and I went for a random shopping at city link to get that bag I had been eyeing on in Charles & Keith. So that's 2 random events that have broke the monotony of my life so far. =) And coming up would be planning the engin camp and Oweek for the upcoming camp. New friends and new activities to do. =) A bonus would be being in the events sub-committe in Political Association. I need a life!

So, those were the 2 things that broke the monotony of my life. I gathered that the recent overthinking on my part are due to lacking of a social life to the point that it became depressing for me. =( It's too tiring to keep guessing what others would think. Still, I've been wondering whether it's okay... drifting about struglling trying to graduate. Then again, I remembered the reason for choosing engineering, namely electrical engineering. This gave me a bout of energy and motivation to study. Yes, study or rather, learn. I have to remind myself time and time again that these 3/4 golden years of my life hould not be wasted away. And recently, I have my mind on too many things that should be shelved for the time being. =x I need to start working towards my goal. Jia You Geraldine. I know I wouldn't want to regret having my studies affected because I had my mind all over the place. Studies first! =D Networking later...

Speaking of which, my vocabulary and proficiency in English is dropping. That's bad! *panics and runs to hit the publish button*

Maths results are out. Yuck. =( Super sianz now... I really need to jia alot of "you". Sigh.. lots of it. Am I gonna fail modules? Study harder Geraldine! The things on my to do list are piling up. And I haven't web casted any lectures at all! =(

I heard that, if you need a laugh, watch the maths webcast. The honkie's lecturer accent is funny. For Programming, my friend was telling me how cold and lame his jokes were. As for Electrical engineering, the concepts learnt are interesting. AND physics is self study. Time to do my gem assignment and programming... Sighhhh....

-It's funny how people can only see the obvious and miss the really important subtle actions. Look deeper, past the surface Geraldine...-

2 months have flew by since we first enrolled into NUS. Friendships forged and bonds deepened. Yet, at the same time, bonds with our secondary and JC friends are slowly being lost. I was supposed to meet up with 2 of my besties from Junior College. But, meetings are postponed, without a "next meet up date" in mind. But I guess I understand. University life, is a test of perserverence. Study, otherwise you will feel owned by the number of intelligent people around you. The hectic pace of lectures and endurence of the boring lectures, tutorials and test. Despite the shorter timetable as compared to JC, we somehow never seem to be able to find time to meet up with our friends who are not in the same faculty as us. Sadly, as new bonds are formed, old ones are slowly losing its place. Well, we all have our own life.

I'm really glad though, that whenever I'm down in the pits, there are a few names that would pop up in my mind to call and rant, whine and complain to. =D No worrying over what they think, whether they are busy or whatsoever. Hahax. Nope. And, no worrying over catching the socially incorrect things you say and keeping it to yourself. Hahax. Level up eh?

And I really enjoyed myself yesterday, at munchie monkey playing asshole tai tee. Hahax. Somehow it ended with 3 girls vs 2 guys in asshole tai tee. And then it was bluff next. ^.^

Gahh.. My withdrawal symtoms for studying is back. Considering that I have driving at 5.30pm, I should hit the publish button right now and start studying. With a GEM assignment due in hours, and the e-learning week coming to an end, I better up my pace.

I have been really distracted lately, by everthing that's going on around me. I realised, that university life was not as fun as I thought it would be. Blame all those american dramas shows, with all the parties and socialising. Sure, there's socialising, but not as much as the tv shows make it out to be. At the end of the day, results DO matter. That's the plain cold reality of life. Even so, part of me wants to stop this mugging cycle and chionging of tutorials and really stay on track. Assuming that I do keep up, which won't be anytime soon, I would start participating actively in CCAs.

Then again, going to NOC would mean juggling and multi-tasking right? So I should start soon, instead of procrastinating. CAP do matter after all, especially for an honours. I really do have to start planning out my modules and my life, in order to go to NOC in year 3.

Seeing all the intelligient people in my school really motivates me to work harder, so that one day, I would be as smart as them. But it looks like this wish is not coming anytime soon is it? Focus Geraldine. Start getting serious!

Mid terms are finally over! And don't ask me how it was. Conclusion is that I'm gonna do badly. It's okay. I shall jia you! Hahax. Yuan Ing's birthday party was held at the right time, right after mid terms! hahax. Met up with Yuan Ing, Zhi Wei and Jansen after the mid terms at the car park.

In the beginning, our warrent officer Zhi Wei (=p) was giving directions. A very expereinced driver eh? I wonder how old he is? =p Yeppx.. It was so shiok, as Jansen put it, with Yuan Ing driving at 100km/h. It's not his fastest speed yet though. Hahahx. But it was kinda scary at times. Next time I need to learn how to pull handbrake like my instructor le =p Hahax.. Thanks to sleeping in my dad's car whenever he drives, we ended up missing a turn at PIE. In the end, we ended up going along the stretch of long road at Changi Airport. It felt really long, with the speed capped at 70 km/h because of the speed camera. Kind of Pai sei coz this means that we were late, and Yuan Ing being the host was kind of stressed. Hahax. There were the food and logistics to settle after all. But never mind. On the bright side, it was a bonding time between Zhi Wei, Jansen, Yuan Ing and I. =D

Upon reaching the chalet, it was super weird at first, for Jansen and I since we didn't know anyone there and Zhi Wei went to help out Yuan Ing to get the rest of the stuff out from the car. So we went exploring. hahax. Met Yuan Ing and Zhi Wei halfway and so we joined them. Hahax.

It was still weird, at least for me since I was kind of the only girl there at his party. =.= Hahax. Reason, so am I supposed to be your party maker for the night? =p I did try my best to socialise okay because I didn't want to regret being a party pooper. =p And.. I met 2 new friends. One of whom taught us how to play Texas Poker with paper as chips. Do you know that there are such things as big blind and small blind? O.o And the other friend is our asshole tai tee gang. =D I only ended up as the asshole once and if I didn't have to go off so soon, I would have either kept my position as the queen or become a king! Muhahahhax. Long Live Geraldine. =p

Some pictures from the birthday party.

As I was saying, Mid terms are over. Up next is the 9% sit in lab. But I shall worry about that later. I have a lot of things on my hand to do and I have no idea how I procrastinated till now. As Mu Rong says, time flies. It will feel more like recess week next week! =D On monday, it would be a meeting with Yi Yan and Rachel, Tuesday I'm tentatively meeting Hui Li for a lunch date, on wednesday, Celebrating Yi Yan's birthday? As for Thursday, I'm having another lunch date with Faith! And I will be having driving lessons 2 times a week. So I'll be quite busy. In the weekends, there is a 07s103 class gathering. hmm.. should I go? Hahax... Really looking forward to next week where I will be meeting up with my girlfriends. Missed them so much. I have so much to tell them, especially Hui Li and Faith! =D So much to rant and gossip about. Hahahax...

And that's all for today. I gotta rush out a proposal and submit it to Jared. Btw, did I mention? I'm in the sub-exco of Political Association! I got recruited by Jared! Hahax.. I need my CCA points =D And we are in charge of organising get together events =D My favourite! ^^

My feets are sore, after running in heels in a bid to reach the examination hall on time... I predict blisters growing soon.

These few days have been a roller coaster ride. I can't seem to find a logical reason to explain the convultions of moody feelings I've been feeling. Stress? Pms? Or perhaps it's the warning bells of my six sense ringing as the clock is ticking. I'm afraid, the same thing in JC may happen again. Hmm.. Or I'm just being paranoid?I can't help being paranoid. After all, it's the sixth sense of humans that enabled us to survive till this generation. Although my sixth sense is usually on a holiday.

I guess I need some time alone to sort this confusing emotions out. Sometimes I wish I would allow myself to drop all acts of pretense that everything is alright when I'm alone. To stop telling myself that Yin would be strong, that it's a matter of handling situations, and that tears wouldn't help. Yupx, tears wouldn't make things right. But it would certainly help you to feel better... Anyways, I hope I could put a finger to the reason behind the emotions that I'm feeling right now. I'm certain it's a multitude of reasons. Shucks. Am I back to the Geraldine from secondary school days again? Feels like puberty again. lol.