It seems that I've been recently suffering from a form of schizophrenia, a form of psychotic disorders characterized by distortions of reality and disturbances of thought and language and withdrawal from social contact. Don't misunderstand me, it's only the LATER part of the withdrawal form social contact that I'm suffering from. You could say I'm re-enforcing the word I learnt today, or to be more precise, refreshing my memory since I came across the word before sometime during GP lessons.

Perhaps I'm sensitive, but I feel ostracized recently.

Emotional Report:
My temper has been irritable and testy this week especially due to lack of sleep and the return of papers. Much as I have expected the results to be atrocious, I certainly have not prepared myself for the consequences. Still, even though March Block Test is over and nearly all the papers, with the exception of GP and Econs) are out, the dreary monotonous life of a Meridian aka muggger goes on. All I can do now to to silently hope that I don't get invited over tea with Ms Lai.

After much consideration, I have also finally made my decision not to retake Chinese after being sandwiched between my distaste for having to study my mother language, knowing that I well not do well enough for the grades to be useful in my application to a university later, and soothing my eyes from the "E Grade" that's a sore thumb on my certificate.

I loathed waving the white flag before the war is over and more so the emotions that serves to undermine my logic. Such emotions easily cloud my judgment and weakens my independence, willfully desiring a certain character out of the manga to be my my side. Nevertheless, it will be a few more months of perseverance before the end and beginning of a new chapter of my life.

As promised to some readers, *winks*, a recount of the week's events shall be written to the best of my memory.

Saturday, 15th March - A get together for our clique at Sing Huey's House...
~suggested by Wenhui and organised by me. =)~

After not meeting and chatting with Fadz for quite some time, she commented on my dressing.
Fadz: "Heys, you are wearing a Skirt!"
Was it so surprising that I wore a skirt? I was happy though for some reason known to those who understands me fairly well. =) Man..We were slacking at SH's house, playing around with the Piano and guitar, chatting and surfing websites, wondering what the one who suggested this trip would say.. =p Unfortunately, I couldn't see the twins jamming in action. I can't remember much of the details but apparently, our presence "forced" someone to skip out on church. Speaking of which, flipping through SH's textbook on Japan's culture, I learnt a few practices that the Japanese would follow. It is a general assumption that Japanese are rather polite, but personally, I think they are rather like us cosmopolitan Singaporeans in Singapore. Some would even say that they are hyprocrites, (no offence meant) since one of the practice they adhere to is to "show your true self only to your family, but be polite to strangers." Personally it is seemingly senseless to adhere by that code since Strangers and friends come and go. Let's get together someday with everyone present.

Class outing - lunch at Pasta Mania and movie "Rule number 1"
I will never watch horror movies in cinemas again. They are a waste of money since I "watched" with my eyes closed and ears covered most of the time. I always knew that I am not strong willed enough to watch horror movies, much less an Asian(hong kong) one. Personally, Asian horror movies are usually more gory and scary than Western ones.

I screamed!

The shrill and high pitched voice hopefully blended in with the sound effect. It was so embarrassing. I assumed this cowardly side of me to be gone. Sadly, this fear still reigns over me. =( Perhaps it's because I am not able to protect myself by inflicting physical damage to these supernatural beings the reason I fear them. In any case I still don't get the storyline, and it seems like a cock and bull story to me now. Lolx. I will never watch horror movies again.

~Surprisingly, I didn't have any nightmares that night. I usually would have nightmares for 3 nights after a horror movie.~

Frida, 28/3/08
The weather was characterised by humidity in the afternoon. I rushed home looking forward to a bath and a place of sanctuary to assuage my feelings of discomfort. The race against time made it impossible to bath as I rushed to the dentist for the monthly appointment. I immersed myself in reading "The Peak" a magazine catered to the affluent and weathly Singaporeans with articles of business trends that I found to be rather useful. I was extremely satisfied with the dentist job of filing my two front teeth since I look better now =) the price of vainness = pain.

=( My thighs are aching with my muslces contracting from the effect of Muai Thai training yesterday.

2 hours of burning fats =) With more trainers around, I realised my mistakes especially in my stance. I'm glad I'm learning correctly now. My was a trainer from Singapore poly. I learnt ALOT from her. The lesson yesterday tempted me to love Muai Thai even more. =) Maybe I will consider learning Muai Thai until I'm able to participate in the amateur sparring.

Yay! It's been only 1 week and it seems like such a long time since I kept in contact with the rest of the world.

De-stressing while going online is great =) talked to Hui Li and phoebe today on Msn, it seems like eternity since we sort of hang out together. Lolx.. Mugging and exams. Been preoccupied with helping my mum on some things...I'm going to make it work =)

I had a dream today, I dreamt of two people in MJC and I woke up feeling very, very sad... I got the feeling that we are so distant now. It's funny how dreams can affect your emotions so much, but I'm feeling better now. =) all thanks to MSN peeps. =)

I wish and wish that I will be able to do the qns for Phy. Forgot how I cleared the confusion on Superposition last year. Help me! And And, I wish that we would still hang out as a clique - group studying like last year promos... With Jonathan, Jeremy, QH jokes to lighten the routinue studying, their suanning and Hui Li just watching the show laughing from time to time. I also wish to bridge the gap of "lost" friendship between some people.

-Sometimes, I wish I was made a doll, detached from emotions like sadness and emptiness. Watching the surroundings with my wooden eyes...-

It's finally the 1 week break during March "Holidays", a time when we are supposed to study for our March Block Test after school reopen. Lolx. Not that I really mind, since it will give me some time to consolidate all that I have learnt.

Since witnessing the giving out of A level results and receiving my Chinese A level results, I've been feeling this overwhelming pressure and expectations... AND, this force on me has been mounting especially when all I've been doing is sleeping! Lolx. Everyone around me is getting serious and chionging for the March Block Test. I guess I should not be an exception. It will be a few more months and Muai Thai will help me to destress after the exams! =D

Speaking of Muai Thai, it is a form of boxing and the moves are so cool. It is sort of like those martial arts you see in movies with the actors in all their glory, covered with sweat and executing the moves perfectly. It's so fantastic... I'm glad Geraldine Sim asked me along. It was fun too... making new friends from TJ. ^^ It is taught by a well-built martial artist in TJ every thursday. If you want to come along, drop me a tag/ message. =D

Sorry for making everyone worry since my last post. I was just ranting the other time. Don't worry. I'm fine now.. I've been wanting to blog but you can guess what held me back - procrastination again. That's such an overused in my blog. I should find a better word to substitute it soon. well...Let me upload some pics that I've been wanting to upload for a long time =)









There...I just wasted time blogging when I should me studying for Chemistry Test tommorrow. I just hope that I do well in the test tmr... I don't want to just barely get through the test.