I find myself struggling with school work even more, and getting more stress (more pimples too =( ) after getting involved in the project. It just started last week, but I am already lagging behind, thanks to mid terms. Plus, the new technical terms and the extra time I have to devote to learning about the new project and keeping updated is quite time consuming.

Whenever I devote time to the project, part of me remind myself of the numerous things I have to do on my to do list. And how I could have devoted the extra time to my studies. it's not like I am doing things fast enough either. And if I am tired or I don't get enough sleep, I just can't concentrate. Nothing goes in.

Yet, another part of me wants to continue on with the project and see its completion, before building one myself too. And then I can start thinking about the marketing aspects and profiteering (if any) from it. I still see no advantage in going into this project, Yet. It forces me to be more disclipined though.

I guess I will have to try to do work faster, concentrate more, and make do with lesser sleep. I have to.

You are right once again. that I jumped on the bandwagon because right now, my life is mundane. It's all studies and studies. To me, university isn't all about studying. But it's the bare minimum that I have to do. I have to get at least a degree, at least an honours. And I feel stagnated. I want to do something to feel better, to assure myself that at least I am doing something to reach it.

But perhaps, what I am doing right now is slowing myself down even more. How can I start building something if I don't get my basics right? When I haven't made friends with Laplace, Fourier and all the other mathematical equations and thinking process? When I don't understand how the structures, alpha and beta, phase diagrams works? Which material would be best and cost effiecient.

But I still keep to my stand that I want to continue with the project. I guess, I have to work harder to try and juggle both eh? =p I am stubborn after all. =p

And then, there's life and its unpredictability. I trust medical technology. But when it comes to the operating table, it's the doctors realm and god's. Not forgetting luck. With all the complications involved, especially when my grandpa is stopping his high blood medication, I pray that every thing goes well. And that it's not cancerous. Otherwise, it will be painful. Luckily, it was spotted early.

Politics in the office, in the medical world. Thanks to my aunt rushing the doctors and nurses, we got the report early. I can't believe they want us to wait for 6 months for a report to be out. By then, they don't have to do the test, because my grandad's cancer may be in the final stage. And it will be confirmed. What was found to be the initial stage would have become the final stage - curable to incurable. Goodness. Office and it's politics.

Till then, I pray...