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Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The days passed by hastily and the end of the week is drawing near. Soon, it will be the week previously, followed by march "holidays" with the march block test looming by dangerously, preparing to "ambush" students who poorly prepared. It is just a daily cycle of chasing after tutorials, assignments and tests, living day by day to me. I keep telling myself that I will start revising soon and till now, I haven't even started. Since recently, I have been feeling the stress from both my relatives and my expectations to perform in the exams. I definitely do not want to undergo midyear experience of "Meet the Parents session" (more like embarrass the student session) again, where I was forced to swallow the condensing attitudes from one of my "caring" teacher. I remember being the first student nervously waiting for the teachers to be ready to give constructive criticisms which they did. It was horrible. the 45 minutes session or so was a test of my endurance and pride. I was always being looked at in that manner by them as a product of failure. It is really frustrating and can serve to break you down. Back then, I was only able to keep my sanity by indulging in my hobbies from time to time and through Biz Club activities. The familiarity with my family members also helped. I used to be able to depend on these two supports but not now. The first due to exhaustion and the later one of the condescending look again, not from the members, but that of a the teacher. Perhaps I'm embarrassed, annoyed at first since that incident happened, but I do not see the need to go into further details. So don't ask me. A simple encouragement will do. =) I feel so out of touch with reality lately. I don't want to fear waking up every morning knowing that it's a new day.... Ps. Sorry that this entry is so pessimistic. It helped me assuage my fears though. =)
6:15 PM
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